It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Happiness means quiet nerves.