It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.