No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

I'm searching for loopholes.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.