No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.