Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.

It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

I'm looking for loopholes.