I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.