I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

It's what you do that counts and not what you say; therefore I fired my press agent.