I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Never work with animals or children.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.