Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.