The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.