The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

I like children - fried.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.