Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I'm searching for loopholes.