Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

Never work with animals or children.

I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.