It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.