I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.