I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.