Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.