Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

The best thing to break is a contract.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.