Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I like children - fried.