I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.