Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.