The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.