Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
I like children - fried.
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.