The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.