You can't cheat an honest man.

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.