I like children - fried.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.