What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.

I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.