What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.