If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.