Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

Ain't fit for man nor beast

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.