If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.