It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
I always made up my own acts; built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people; and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
I never eat before breakfast.