How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.

I'm looking for loopholes.

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.