Never work with animals or children.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.