The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.