Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Happiness means quiet nerves.

I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.