Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.