The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

I drink therefore I am.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.