The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

You can't cheat an honest man.

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.