The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.