The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.