Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. FieldsFew things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FieldsA comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields