I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.