I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.