The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.