Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.