Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.

To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.