No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?

You can't cheat an honest man.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Never work with animals or children.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.