The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.