Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Never give a sucker an even break.