Never give a sucker an even break.

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.