Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.