Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.