I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.