If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.

The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.