Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.