Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

I drink therefore I am.

I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.