Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.