Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!