Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

I like children - fried.

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.

No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.