I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!