I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

Never give a sucker an even break.

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.