The best thing to break is a contract.

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.