I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.