I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.