My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.

If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

I never eat before breakfast.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.