The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.