The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.