The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.