In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.

Ain't fit for man nor beast

Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.