If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.