You can't cheat an honest man.
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.